Ok… I will be honest. I am struggling. Two weeks in, and I am struggling. I started Lent with such great intentions of working hard and fasting, but this is so hard. I should have known this would have been difficult after all I selected my fast from the list of things that most cause me to struggle. I am fasting from "Fast". Yes, I, in a moment of irrationalism chose to purposefully slow my life down. This decision wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.
Rewind to a couple of weeks ago: I reviewed my life and asked myself what was the thing that created the most significant distance between God and me. Interestingly enough the usual culprits were absent, my job allows me plenty of time for my devotions, I have resources galore, and I can honestly say that it’s not because I lack the desire. So what was the thing? Why did I feel so spiritually vacant? My calendar. I was living my life at 100 miles an hour and rolled from one thing to the next with such a dynamic pull that there was no pause, no presence, no peace. Therefore, I decided to fast from “Fast.” Now fast forward to today…
I am sitting here in a classroom working in a frenzy when I notice it is time for chapel, and for a moment I think to myself, "I don't have time." Did you hear that? I told myself I don't have time for worship. My solution. I am going to force the issue and went to chapel. I wish this were easy. I wish that I naturally could create space to slow my life down. I find myself envious of those that can. However, if it were easy I wouldn't need to set aside weeks, every year, to teach myself discipline and there lies the beauty and the pain of Lent. So as we move forward, I will strive on, and the days that I struggle will teach me more than the days that I don't.
How are you doing with your Lenten fasting?
Are you creating space for God to speak?