Ok so a couple of weeks ago, my post got a little real. That was the moment when my Lenten Fasting had brought me to my knees, and I became aware of yet another area in my life where I need to increase my reliance on God. I wrote that post while I was actively being convicted by the Spirit.
Today, I am happy to report that I am still struggling. Yes, you read that right. I am still struggling. I have improved, but that is not what I am here to celebrate. I am here to proclaim that I am continuing to struggle, and there is no end in sight. The growth that I have experienced this last few weeks, as I have worked to create margin has been inspiring, but not perfect, and I have refused to give up. There was a day when I would not have been able to say that. I lived life with a "can't beat‘em, join 'em," mentality, and according to the worldly understanding it worked really well for me. Not today! Today I am trying to live with a "can't beat’em at least let them know you were there,” understanding. So, I am happy to report that I am still struggling. I have not given in, and that shows no sign of changing. When the devil pushes me down and tells me that I won't ever be able to create the margin in my life for God to work I vow to keep getting up, and, by the Grace of God to never stop getting up. Regardless of how hard he pushes back. So here I am bruised, tired and better for it. Grateful for the gift of God's Grace that allows me to keep standing.
Lent was designed in symbolic memory of Jesus’ 40 days of temptation and fasting in the wilderness. However, as I read Jesus’ prayer in the garden of Gethsemane, it becomes clear that Jesus’ temptation didn't stop in the wilderness. More about that later, but for now it suffices to say, "I am still struggling…AMEN"
Rev. R. Paul Klepees