I want to acknowledge from the beginning that I feel odd writing this post. The truth is that it doesn’t seem possible, but Margie and I just celebrated 7 years of marriage on August 27th. The truth is this is my third attempt to write this post, and every time I got so mushy that I could hardly read it myself. If you have followed “Paul’s Ponderings,” my sermons, or any of the content I put out in the world, you will know that I like to try and find a word (the right word) to help grasp a difficult situation or topic. Therefore, it seems fitting for me to search for the right word to sum up the last 7 years and what I assume the next eternity will be like. You will see on this list a couple of different options, but let’s start with a couple that didn’t make the cut.
Words That Don’t Work
Peaceful- Peaceful? Really? There is nothing about our life that is peaceful. I know as a Pastoral family there is an expectation that our home is always in present, children just bathed and always well behaved, and Margie and I always agreeing on everything. THIS COULD NOT BE MORE WRONG! Our house is loud, messy, busy, and well…chaotic. We just are. The closest thing we have to peaceful is the 3 minutes before we slip in to unconsciousness everything with the radio playing and the dog snoring. Peaceful, HA! There was a time when I thought I wanted things peaceful, but I would miss the crazy that is this life.
Happily Ever After- Ok so there is a scene in Disney’s Pixar Movie The Incredibles where a superhero named Mr. Incredible is marrying another superhero named Elastigirl and he looks at her saying, “Hey we’re superheros what could happen?” As someone who has be part of several weddings, I can tell you that this quote sums up everyone’s attitude, “hey we’re in love what could happen?” What could happen? LIFE happens. Life is that thing that hands you the last thing you need. Life is what happens when none of your children sleep and all you want to do is take a nap. Life is what happens when there are 1 million things you would rather be doing, but your spouse’s work dinner takes precedence. Life is what happens when you try to steal a few minutes of intimacy before bed only to hear a tiny voice ask, “Can I sleep with you?” Happily Ever After only exists in fairy tales and I think it only exists there because it's where the story ends. If you were to continue to follow the couple, we would learn that Prince Charming is no Prince Charming and Cinderella doesn’t like to dust but that’s real life. Real life is where we live and thank goodness, I would be rubbish at slaying dragons.
Words That Kinda Work
Weird- This is probably the best word I can think of. Margie is a weirdo. There isn’t much more to say than that. No truthfully, our path has always been our own. We have always felt compelled to make our relationship look like us and frankly individually we both are “I’ll find my own way people.” Our marriage doesn’t fit the look of marriages our age. It difficult to explain but it’s definitely weird.
Fun- I am the funnest person my wife has ever met. Truthfully we have always had fun, even when we weren't getting along well we have always found a way to have some fun. Whether it is late night hot wings or getting movies from the library because we are too cheap to redbox, we laugh. Margie has a contagious smile and grin that I make it my personal mission to see every day. Little moments together become memories and stories we tell for a life time.
Different-Ok so this probably seems repetitive with “Weird” above but hear me out. We try to make every day different. We are not routine people. It’s not our style. We are let’s go to the zoo today, kind of people. This attitude creates an adventurous spirit and had created some of our great moments. A honeymoon with absolutely no plan except drive west for 2 weeks, a sure why not vacation with 3 small children and a let’s watch this movie even though its 10pm kind of night. Every day is different and if I had anything else I would be missing part of myself I didn’t even know existed.
Those aren't the common marriage type words, heck those aren’t even sappy words but after 7 years, all I can say is I love her to infinity and beyond.